7 Reasons You Want a Spiritual Director

The spiritual life is a journey. Don’t do it alone.

The first time my wife found out she was pregnant, the first thing she did was tell me. The second thing she did was go straight to the internet. She started searching “midwives.”

See, she knew something was going on inside of her, something she’d never experienced before, and she needed help. She needed someone who had been through the experience before hundreds of times, someone who could handle her barrage of questions, someone who could help her discern the normal-weird from the weird-weird. Someone with experience bringing life into the world.

The image of a midwife is actually a pretty good image for a spiritual director. There’s something going on inside of you and a good director helps bring that into full view for you and the entire world.

If you find yourself in any of these seven situations, then the a spiritual director is exactly what you’re looking for.

You’re hungry to go deeper with God.

Snickers has this ad campaign: “You’re not you when you’re hungry.” And it’s true. You’re not. You might very well be aware of a sincere desire for God. And you might seek out a director because you know exactly what you’re looking for.

But you also might be experience life out-of-sorts. Things are out of balance, and you just don’t have the words for what’s going on. You’re not you when you’re hungry.

You’re a spiritual leader to people

You might be a pastor. You might be a program director. Maybe you run a faith-based non-profit. Maybe you work on staff at a church or a Christian ministry or business. People look to you to have it all together, to have answers.

Any time I fly, we go through this ritual of rehearsing what happens when the cockpit loses air pressure. Put the mask on yourself before helping the person next to you. People drawn to ministry typically find it easy to help others and neglect taking care of themselves. If your work involves constantly pouring yourself out on behalf of other people, you need a plan for taking care of yourself. Meeting regularly with a spiritual director can be an important piece in a self-care plan.

You’re going through a life transition.

You’ve moved. You’ve just had another kid. You’re changing jobs. You’re retiring. You just got married. You just got divorced. One way or another, your rhythm and routine has been upset. Life has this stubborn way of never standing still. And it has a way of throwing curveballs at us that we never prepared for. A spiritual director helps keep us focused on God’s presence, that whatever is happening, God is shaping us through it and new opportunities are right in front of us.

You’re on the edge (even over the edge) of burnout.

I still remember my first panic attack. I was walking through the halls of the church, mid week, on my way back to my office. I couldn’t breathe. Gravity suddenly felt like it was turned up to 11. Thankfully, I had a healthy support group to fall into and a helpful director to process everything that was going on.

There are very real consequences when you give and give and give and don’t take care of yourself. Even people in ministry are capable of terrible decisions that wreak havoc on themselves and all those around them. Having a spiritual director can make a difference noticing the symptoms of burnout and also be a place of healing, rest, and reconciliation.

You need a safe place for your questions.

If you find yourself in a place where certainty rules the day and questions about faith and doubt aren’t welcome, a spiritual director can be a safe place to bring those questions. Sessions are confidential. Sometimes simply saying the questions out loud in the presence of someone else makes them seem much less scary. Sometimes a spiritual director won’t have the answer, but a good director will provoke to get at the question behind the question. It’s a place of non-judgment and open discovery together.

You want a better understanding of your calling.

You are a gift. And you have a gift. Finding that place where you have the words for it and where you’re comfortable in your own skin isn’t always so easy. Spiritual direction can be a place of exploring just who exactly you are to be and discover what dent you were made to put in the universe and how you can participate in God’s mission.

You feel stuck in your spiritual life.

There are days where it feels like God is so close you can feel it. Like a tangible substance. And then there are days where it just feels like God forgot to show up at all. And then there are whole seasons that feel that way. Sometimes God speaks. And sometimes God is silent. A spiritual director helps keep things in perspective and provides a place of encouragement when the well is dry.

You’ve been burned by church.

Can we be real? Sometimes people do and say awful things to one another within the context of church. It’s a tragic thing. I’ve seen it happen. I’ve been on the receiving end of it. Sometimes the church is a terribly disappointing place to be.

Spiritual direction can be a place to be reminded that God is not that church, that God is not people who hurt. It can be a place of acknowledging the wounds. It can be a place of acknowledging where reconciliation needs to be sought. It can be a place of being open to God’s healing and redemption.

If any of these resonate with you, I’d recommend filling out this contact form for a free consultation, or you can check out Spiritual Directors International to find a director in your area.